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8 tips for dealing with very bad news

2019-04-09 News No comment

This is not easy. This is never easy. Nothing can really help you forget this situation. But there are some tricks that may soothe you in some way or let you find some extra power, and there are other things that you should try to avoid, so as not to feel worse.

Let me try to summarize some tips. Remember, this is not about your loved ones, but about you…

  1. Think about two or three positive thoughts, or recall two happy or better but interesting memories, and let them be ready to tell your loved ones. When you are alone, you must think about them, because life tends to be busy or overwhelming near the patient. Take the opportunity to give them some happy gifts during the day. Feel free to prepare some stories, anecdotes or memories. When you feel like you and your patients are circled around the same old theme, be prepared to force changes to the topics in the conversation. This will act as a fresh, vibrant breeze.
  2. Whenever you are with your loved one, focus all your attention on them and try not to think about your pain. It will never match them. And don't let spiritual digressions cause you to deviate from real housework. This kind of hard work keeps yourself strong enough to help your loved ones. It is easy to ask yourself "Why are we, why are you?" In fact, this is an inevitable problem. But this is an unanswered question and looking for a problem that cannot be solved and will be deducted from your energy reserve. When this problem [or a similar problem] comes to your mind, please face it in seconds and let your thoughts tell you to be alone. Turn your attention to a more productive effort.
  3. Stay busy. Don't sit there and let the problem attack you. If you don't wake up, don't stay in bed; take a book or get up and bake some cookies. Anything is better than engulfing you with destructive or depressed thoughts and tortuous problems. One of my favorites is to write something for my loved ones, when my heart does not seem to find any peace. Just sitting in front of a computer or holding a pen in my hand helps me focus and eliminate negative thoughts. One of my favorite ones is of course reading. Reading makes me so relaxed! It helps me escape from reality for a while and proves to be a good way to reduce stress. But whatever you read, you must be interested in it. Don't try to put any books in your home. Choose something that makes sense, you really want to know.
  4. Meet with friends who can support you. Find moments to vent your anger and sorrow from your sick relatives, but get support from friends or other people who care about you. Let others share your pain and comfort you. Don't play heroes all day; it takes effort and you need to save energy.
  5. If you are not with friends, try to vent your anger and pain by running, exercising, walking or practicing any sport you like or doing any manual activity of your choice. Doing something tangible helps to pay attention. It is natural to feel angry and depressed, it is natural. Crying is also very good. But no matter what you do, don't let anger and frustration accumulate in your body. These two are very destructive forces that only lead to more grief. Feel them, face them and understand how you feel is a natural reaction. Eliminate any unacceptable or redundant accumulation by doing some physical things.
  6. Plan small moves every day. Some of you will assume that others will still be just plans. Things you can do at any time: rent a movie, book a book, organize a small reunion with your friends on the drink, decide what to do for dinner… even if your days look completely full and overfilled Still have to plan ahead. Daily things that you plan to do with or without the patient will give you a sense of normality that will help you withstand the time. Some of the plans you can design with your loved ones: discuss details, talk about choices… just like in any other situation.
  7. Sometimes your thoughts and souls will require quiet peace, silence and inactivity. Rest awhile. Give yourself some time and don't feel embarrassed about taking them. Let your thoughts and original feelings feel a bit rested. But make sure that those times don't turn into self-punishment. If you feel that your thoughts are beginning to bypass unanswerable questions, stop. One thing is to enjoy a quiet moment; something else makes depression catch up with you.
  8. Finally, let your loved one know that you are there, you are the same old, you are here together. Sometimes, when the pain is high, we will withdraw from our loved ones because it is too unbearable. Try not to do this. Take a boat together. Let the love you share let you be together. You can tell them that you are very sad and angry, as long as you can tell them that you have hope and you still cherish these moments together. The happy moments that are now cherished are more valuable than the many less meaningful people shared before.

Life is sometimes unbearable, you are right. We should never pretend that it is not. But our task is to find small and good things around us to help those who are sick. Use these tips to help you through the dark days.

Enjoy life, yes, even in this terrible environment, enjoy the good times in life,

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