What is confident communication?
Confident communication can express positive and negative thoughts and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognizes our rights while still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to be responsible for ourselves and our actions without judging or accusing others. It allows us to constructively face and find a conflicting and mutually satisfying solution.
So why use confident communication?
We all sometimes use self-confident behavior… When we feel we are vulnerable or uncertain, we may take obedience, manipulation or aggression.
However, training in accepting confident communication actually increases the proper use of this behavior. It allows us to exchange old behavior patterns for a more active lifestyle. I have found that changing my reactions to others [whether working colleagues, clients or my own family] can be exciting and exciting.
The advantage of confident communication
There are many advantages to asserting communication, the most obvious being:
It helps us feel good about ourselves and others
It leads to the development of mutual respect with others
It adds to our self-esteem
It helps us achieve our goals
It minimizes harm and alienation to others
It can reduce anxiety
It protects us from being used by others
It allows us to make decisions and free choices in our lives.
It allows us to express a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both verbal and non-verbally, both positive and negative.
Of course there are disadvantages…
Disadvantages of confident communication
Others may not agree with this type of communication or may not agree with what you express. In addition, a healthy focus on the rights of others means you won't always get what you want. You may also find that you have an incorrect opinion about yourself. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves risks that others may not understand, and therefore does not accept this type of communication.
What confident communication is not…
Confident communication is definitely not a way of life! This does not guarantee that you will get what you want. This is definitely not an acceptable way to communicate with everyone, but at least it is not offensive.
But it is about choice
Four behavior choices
As I have seen, you can choose from four options to decide which communication method you can use. These types are:
Direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozer, intolerant, self-righteous, aggressive
Indirect aggression: irony, deception, jealousy, suggestion, manipulation, and guilt
Obedient: crying, jealous, helpless, passive, indecisive and apologizing
Self-confidence: direct, honest, accepting, responsible and spontaneous
Confident communication has six main characteristics. these are:
Eye contact: showing interest and showing sincerity
Body posture: Consistent body language will increase the meaning of information
Gestures: Appropriate gestures help increase focus
Sound: Horizontal, well-tuned tones are more convincing and acceptable, and not daunting
Time: Use your judgment to maximize acceptance and influence
Content: The way you choose to comment, where and when it may be more important than what you say
The importance of the "I" statement
Part of self-confidence involves the ability to properly express your needs and feelings. You can do this with an "I" statement. These indicate ownership, do not blame responsibility, focus on behavior, determine the impact of behavior, are outspoken and honest, and help you develop relationships with each other.
The strong "I" statement has three specific elements:
Tangible influence [the consequences for you]
For example: "I was frustrated when you were late for a meeting. I don't like repeating information."
Six techniques for asserting communication
There are six assertion techniques – let's take a look at each of them in turn.
1. Behavioral rehearsal: literally practice what you want and sound. When you use the "I" statement for the first time, it's a very useful technique because it helps eliminate any emotions associated with the experience and allows you to accurately identify the behavior you want to face.
2. Repeat assertions ['breaking records']: This technique allows you to ignore the manipulative language side traps, argumentative bait and irrelevant logic while sticking to your own point of view, making you feel comfortable. To use this technique most effectively, use calm repetition and say what you want and focus on it. You will find that there is no need to rehearse this technique and you don't need to "hype yourself" to deal with others.
"I want to show you some of our products"
"No, thank you, I am not interested"
“I really have a lot of services that can provide you with services”
"This may be true, but I am not interested in it now."
“Is there anyone else interested in this?”
"I don't want any of these products"
"Okay, would you consider this booklet?"
"Yes, I will take a booklet"
"You are welcome"
3. Atomization: This technique allows you to easily accept criticism without anxiety or defense, and without manipulation criticism. To do this, you need to admit criticism, agree that what they say may have some truth, but it is still the judgment of your choice of action. An example of this might be, "I agree that sometimes I won't give you the answer.
4. Negative inquiry: This technique improves communication by stimulating the expression of honest and negative emotions, thereby finding criticism of oneself in intimate relationships. To use it effectively, you need to listen to criticism, clarify your understanding of these criticisms, use information if it is helpful, or ignore it if it is manipulative. An example of this technique is, "So you think / believe that I am not interested?"
5. Negative Proposition: This technique allows you to more easily see negatives in your own behavior or personality without feeling defensive or anxious, which will also reduce the hostility of your critics. You should accept your mistakes or mistakes, but don't apologize. Instead, temporarily and sympathetically agree to hostile criticism of your negative qualities. An example is, "Yes, you are right. I don't always listen carefully to what you have to say."
6. Feasible compromise: When you feel that there is no problem with self-esteem, consider making a viable compromise with another person. Unless compromises affect your personal self-esteem, you can bargain at any time. However, if the ultimate goal involves your self-worth and self-esteem, then there will be no compromise. An example of this technique is, "I understand that you need to talk, I need to do what I am doing. So what about a half-hour meeting?"
Confidence is a useful communication tool. Its application is contextual and is not appropriate in all cases. Remember that your sudden use of self-confidence may be seen as an act of aggression by others.
Even if you use confident communication methods properly, you can't guarantee success.
"There is nothing in the world that can prevent individuals from achieving their goals with the right psychological attitude; nothing on earth can help individuals with the wrong mental attitude." Zieg