Gay Dating Strategy: Your first date and not doing

2019-04-27 Uncategorized No comment


Nothing can make people feel convulsed, just like the nervous expectations of going out with men for the first time. Whether it is a blind date or someone already knowing, the first encounter with a prospect of the date will bring a lot of emotions, more commonly a mixture of excitement and tension. As the key moment approaches, thoughts can focus on the following questions: "Does he like me?" "Do I like him?" "Do he become that?" "If I messed up, what should I do? "What do I talk about? What if I can't speak?"

Everyone's experience is different, but one thing that most dating people will prove is that it is very difficult to sail in the waters where people are dating. Although it is changing, our gay men have almost no role models to imitate in love and romance. There are no templates to follow, and we have never taught how to flirt and date with other men. No rules, no structure, no guidance. How do two men participate in the dance of courtship? While the lack of rules for gay dating can be a positive thing that can provide more creativity, spontaneity, and personality, it also creates anxiety and “ignorance” in how to successfully date and date – a bit like no Car a driver.

This article will provide some tips on how to date with lucky guys who choose to follow the order of that date. While these are not “rules,” these ideas can provide a means to get a foothold and make the most of it before destroying it. Pick and choose the right person and create your own principal as a healthy eater who lives with integrity and follows their values.

Before the date

• When setting the time and location for the date, be sure to make a short meeting [1-2 hours] for the first time and choose a place that is open to the event or allows a lot of conversation. Avoid watching movies, but choose to have a short party in a cafe or zoo. In short, you need to eliminate a lot of stress, especially if you find that the two of you are not compatible and allow your dating relationship to be healthy. If you have a name, you can extend the date at any time.

· Emphasize that it is a date, but to see it as an opportunity to meet potential new friends. This can help "get out of trouble" and let you relax without having to pay attention to the results of the date. Avoid placing too much hope and expectation on your encounters; let it evolve naturally, and if sparks ignite your time together, then this is an extra bonus!

· If you are particularly nervous, take some time to do some relaxation exercises [deep breathing, visualization, etc.] to help soothe yourself and concentrate. If you are worried about what to talk about, please generate a list of possible ideas in advance and play a role with your friends to build confidence. But don't rely too much on it, or you will appear stiff and rehearsed. Be calm and be yourself. This has nothing to do with performance.

· Comfortable to wear and comfortable to wear, feel good. Make sure you and your date are on the same page about the dress style of your date. On the date of my date, I wore a beautiful Oxford shirt and jeans for a second date, and then found that my other half was wearing a French suit and wearing a nine-point, not realizing his intentions for the night. It was a very awkward night and he canceled his reservation for dinner in a luxurious, upscale restaurant. Then he became a more casual dress and took me to a family restaurant. Hey! His image changed instantly, and he stopped seeing me after that. He helped us by ending things, but it was very humiliating at the time. So be sure to avoid any misunderstandings.

During the date

· Punctuality and relaxation. No matter how attractive you are to the man sitting opposite you, you have a responsibility to be yourself – avoid trying to build a look and become a person you won't try to impress you on a date. You are great, just like you. Let him know the true you; otherwise, you will deceive in some form and will only bite you again in the future. Be true and you will get a truly compliant partner reward.

· Pay attention to your date. Respect is shown by maintaining good eye contact, and if there are other attractive men in the room, don't let those eyes wander. Keep an open position and let your non-verbal communication and body language express interest in the date of study. Stay away from your own mind and close those distracting thoughts; really listen to what he says. Balance positive listening and sharing your own things. Ask open-ended questions to get more involved in the discussion, to expand the conversation and learn more about dating. This is especially effective if you feel shy or lack of speaking, because it allows the other person to speak more, allow more tidbits, and you can start other conversations. Be positive and let your sense of humor shine.

· Avoid controversial discussion topics as these may affect your appointments. The more you know about him, the easier it is to get into. Avoid drinking alcohol as this may change your behavior and stay away from sexual content and cues. No gender is the motivation for your date, and introducing sexual conversations on your first date can set the tone in an inappropriate direction. After you are able to build more real, mature connections, discussions about sexuality and sexual preferences may be held later. Questions like "Are you top or bottom?" It may look rude when you first meet, and may give you a bad impression, making you form in your dating image and image.

After the date

· Whether your date is a smash hit or a disaster, use good manners and thank you for your new understanding of this date. If you want to see him again, please explain and call him a day or so to ask him again. Don't talk about "How many days should I pause to avoid looking desperate in the entire dating game?" Egypt "I will make him the one who called me." If you like him, please take care of your life and Call. If you don't feel the "love relationship" with this guy, thank him for his date, and kindly and skillfully tell him that this is not a game. Although this can be very difficult, it is best to treat it honestly and directly in a gentle, polite manner. If you want to try to develop a friendship, please make a suggestion. But be honest and direct, don't tell him if you really don't want to do this, you will call him again. This is cruel.

· Do some briefings after your date and reflect on your actions, dates, and possible diaries. how do you feel? How did you manage yourself during the date? What will you change? What is going well? What did you know about yourself on this date? How do you rate an appointment and the people you meet? Can you see from now that it is compatible with your personal requirements and your life partner's vision? Does he match your needs, needs, goals and values?

in conclusion

Dating can be a painful and daunting task, especially as we lack dating education as a gay man. Our heterosexual partners apply to us the traditions and roles of dating, if any? what should we do?

The key is to enjoy the fun of dating and take an easy approach. In my opinion, dating is both an art and a science that combines common sense decision-making with self-awareness and integrates one's needs and needs into a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. When your dating behavior is aligned with your values ​​and relationship vision, you will live with integrity and be able to approach all of your appointments in a more relaxed tone and confidence. It will make this process easier and more beneficial. Cheers for your date!

©2005 Brian L. Rzepczynski

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Brian Rzepczynski, a certified personal life coach, is a gay love coach: “I work with gay people and they are ready to develop a roadmap to guide them to find and partner with Mr. Right.” Sign up for the free gay love coaching newsletter, including For gay singles and couples with dating and relationship tips and tricks, as well as to view current coaching groups, courses and TV courses, please visit from


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