Should you be silently treated for spouses who have been deceived or have an affair?

It is natural to always say too much to your cheating spouse. Ok, let me clarify. When we find cheating, many of us have a lot to say. Once the cat comes out of the bag, most of us will say enough [or screaming enough]. We have been saying. Then say it again. But after a while, we got a conversation from everyone. Once we have a voice, our spouse may try to defend him or defend his cheating, and most of us absolutely don't want to hear. Therefore, we hope that all conversations will stop, especially when we have nothing to say in any case – at least at the time.

Therefore, it is natural to use silent treatment. However, not all husbands are friendly or just accept it. Many people will tell you that all your refusal to talk will make things worse. They may try to irritate or try to yell at you to talk to them. This may cause some wives to question their strategy. Someone might explain: "After I found out that he had been cheating on me, I would not say that my husband had had a lot of deep conversation with me. I think he waited until I calm down and talked, but it took me a long time. I will never make this meaningful. He has nothing to soften this blow to me. I will remain silent, just look at him angrily in my eyes. Forever. But now, it works for me if Our children are nearby, I will politely ask him for their benefit, but I have not talked to him about any substance, I don't want to change this soon. Do I have to stop mute him?"

I don't think you have to do anything. You now have the right to decide what is and is not for you. After all, if your husband never cheats, then this is not necessary. He made this decision. you have not. Now, you are just dealing with this mess in the best way [you didn't create it].

With this said, I suspect that it can [or should] always be like this. Because you have children, it is vital that you are able to talk openly and honestly with their father – even if you are just talking about them. I believe you know that one day, both of you need to stop the treatment of silence – at least for the children. This is necessary for their health and to be effective parents. We often hope that if we pretend for children, then they will not know what is wrong. However, they do have more trust than we give them. Therefore, regardless of what happens in the marriage, we must maintain an open mind in the common parenting. Because introducing a united front as a parent is one of the best gifts you can give your child.

But there is no timetable for talking about your marriage. Sometimes it takes a while before you feel ready to make any meaningful conversation. Sometimes you will want it. Because even if you don't want to save your marriage and you want to get a divorce, you want to solve this relationship in a healthy way, so that the pain will not continue, or even worse, follow you to the next relationship. You deserve to be happy. But when you are always carrying this painful burden, it is very difficult to do this.

Silent treatment may not be the most effective strategy to get rid of pain. Most of us want our husband to feel sorry and regret – even if we no longer determine our marriage. Silent treatment usually makes him feel less sorry, not more. He can only guess your opinion or your feelings. But if necessary, all of these things can be saved.

And you may just usually reach this level: you are tired of making silent treatments without doing the conversations you might need to move on. But if you are not ready yet, I certainly don't think you have to force yourself to speak. I don't think you have to hurry. In order for your husband not to push you, I would suggest: "I realized that we will need to talk, but I have not prepared for it. I am not willing to discuss what needs to be done. Speaking about children. But I am not ready to talk about this or our marriage. At least for me. I will tell you when you are ready. But now, I just ask you to respect my wishes."

You probably know when it is right. The first thing you learn in this process is that no one else can – or should – make these decisions for you. Other ' judgments really should not matter. This is your life. And your pace. Therefore, you can decide when you are ready to move on to the next step.

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